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Programs & Services

Hospice Services Complimentary Therapies
For Patients For Families
Learning About Grief Getting Help

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Hospice Services

Physician Relationships HPCNC Medical Director Our Nursing Care
Our Social Workers Our Spiritual Care Our Volunteers
Bereavement Services    

Physician Relationships

Patients can maintain their primary care physician when entering hospice care. The primary care physician works with HPCNC's Medical Director to coordinate care.

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HPCNC Medical Director

Stephen Rust, MD, FACP, CMD is Hospice and Palliative Care of Northern Colorado's Weld County Medical Director. Dr. Rust is board certified in Hospice and Palliative Care, as well as geriatrics and internal medicine. Dr. Shaun Thompson is HPCNC's Medical Director in Morgan County.

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Our Nursing Care

Our registered nurses, acting as the patient’s case manager, make regularly scheduled, personal visits to the patient to provide expert pain management and symptom control care. Our case managers also provide training to the primary caregivers so they can care for the patient properly and safely. During the time the patient is under hospice care, the case manager keeps the primary physician and family informed regarding the patient’s condition and provides the complete spectrum of nursing care.

Our home health aides provide personal care and assistance with activities of daily living, feeding and bathing and hands-on care. They also perform limited household services to maintain a safe and sanitary environment in the areas of the home used by the patient.

Our hospice care services are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Patients can call our on-call nurse at any time (970)352-8487.

Specifically, they help provide:

  • prescription medications for pain and symptom control
  • medical equipment and supplies necessary to promote and maintain patient comfort
  • medical care focused on maintaining patient comfort
  • assistance with personal care and activities of daily living
  • coordination of community resources to assist the patient and family with non-medical concerns
  • assistance by trained volunteers to provide companionship, respite, and help as possible in other ways as requested by the patient and family
  • help in coping with spiritual questions and concerns at the end of life, either directly by our team or by coordinating services with the patient’s and family’s spiritual advisors

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Our Social Workers

Individuals confronted with life-threatening illnesses, and their families, experience many changes in their lives.  Hospice social workers help them assess their strengths and prioritize  needs while providing supportive counseling.  The social worker provides education about the importance of quality of life issues, as well as coordinating resources for financial and household needs, advanced directives, transportation, or planning special events.  Bereavement counselors provide support which continues for up to 13 months following the death of a patient. 

Our social workers provide assistance with practical and financial concerns as well as emotional support, counseling and bereavement follow-up. They evaluate the need for volunteers and other support services needed by the family and facilitate communication between the family and community agencies.

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Our Spiritual Care

Hospice care embraces all aspects of life - physical, emotional and spiritual. Our staff, therefore, makes spiritual care a priority; and we are aware that all of us participate in spiritual care at some level. Issues of meaning, relationship/peace with God, among other things, can become quite focused, even to the point of struggle or crisis, during the time of terminal illness. The supportive presence, listening and appropriate intervention of a Hospice Chaplain can be a tremendous help to Hospice patients and their families.

Our chaplains provide spiritual support to patients and families, often serving as a liaison between them and their religious community. They offer support services ranging from crisis help to private and group grief support. Chaplains also often assist with memorial services and funeral arrangements.

Our Hospice chaplains are sensitive to the spiritual needs of individuals facing life-limiting illness. The spiritual care staff are available to Hospice patients and their caregivers and work closely with their clergy or other spiritual support systems in the community.

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Our Volunteers

Our Volunteers: Enriching Lives with Service!

Our trained volunteers provide a number of important services. Volunteers offer direct patient support, companionship and practical, caring help. Volunteers often assist the primary caregivers by sitting with the patient to provide the caregivers respite from the often overwhelming task of providing around the clock care for a loved one. Volunteers also may assist us with clerical and administrative tasks in our office.

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Bereavement Services

The experience of grief is universal and unavoidable.  The impact of grief affects all dimensions of existence:  spiritual, physical, emotional, social and mental.

For many people the death of someone loved can be one of the most significant traumas encountered in a lifetime.

HPCNC operates the Chrysalis Grief Center, a specialized facility, offering individual bereavement counseling or grief support groups that can be very helpful to grieving people.

Services we provide include:

  • Grief Education and Support Groups
  • Men's Mourning - an open group for widowed men
  • Monthly Potluck Lunch and Dinner
  • Individual Grief Counseling
  • Children and Teens
  • Bereavement Consultation

Support groups are ongoing and individual counseling can be scheduled at any time. Services are available to hospice families, as well as the public. Call (970) 475-0130 to schedule a session or find out more about support groups.

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Complimentary Therapies

Animal Assisted Therapy Comfort Touch Music Therapy
Reiki Massage Therapy

Animal Assisted Therapy

Many hospice patients receive great comfort from caregivers who don’t say a word.  Therapy animals can bring joy and relaxation to patients from their very presence.  HPCNC offers all patients complimentary Animal Assisted Therapy provided by Delta Society approved dogs and their human partners.  Volunteers with the Delta Society visit patients in their homes, nursing homes and our Inpatient Unit. 

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Comfort Touch

Comfort Touch (also called Healing Touch) is a form of alternative therapy that Hospice and Palliative Care of Northern Colorado, Inc. has found to be useful and effective in patient care.

What is Comfort Touch? Comfort Touch involves one or more trained therapists working with the human energy field of both the patient and therapist (s).  In hospice, our goals are to provide comfort, energetic rejuvenation and improved well-being for our patients.  During a CT treatment session, the patient’s energy is sensed by the therapists with their hands, usually conducted a few inches over the patient’s body.  Typically, patients are reclining (in a bed, massage table, or recliner chair) during the session and remain comfortably clothed.  It is never painful.  CT is non-invasive and there are no known side effects from this therapy.

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Music Therapy

Music affects us on many different levels, touching the mind, body and spirit simultaneously.  Music promotes relaxation and can energize us.  It has been shown to reduce the perception of pain and enhance physical comfort.  Music therapy can alleviate anxiety and stress. The use of music for therapy can provide a means for expressing deep emotion, for reviewing life’s joys and sorrows, and creating positive interactions between people.  All HPCNC patients are offered the opportunity to receive complementary music therapy, which is performed by a board certified Music Therapist. 

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Reiki

Reiki is an ancient Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation.  Reiki is “life energy” and promotes the movement of negative energy out of the body and channels healing energy into the body.  Reiki addresses the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our being.  HPCNC offers complementary Reiki to all our patients, performed by a certified Reiki master volunteer.

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Massage Therapy

Hospice patients may improve the quality of their lives by taking advantage of complementary massage therapy.  HPCNC offers a complementary massage each month to all our patients.  Massage therapy is performed by a certified massage therapist.  Massage may benefit patients by improving circulation, promoting relaxation and reducing muscle tension.  According to the American Massage Therapy Association, recent clinical research shows:

  • Massage therapy is more effective for chronic back pain that other complementary therapies
  • Massage therapy promotes relaxation and alleviates the perception of pain and anxiety in cancer patients
  • Massage stimulates the brain to produce endorphins     

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For Patients

Being Prepared for Changes Home Modifications About Living with Side Effects
End-of-life Care Wishes Talk to Your Doctor about Pain Pain Treatment Goals
How to Manage Your Pain Pain Checklist  

Being Prepared For Changes
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Caregiving often comes with new responsibilities and unfamiliar tasks, yet most caregivers never receive education.  The following information may help you with a current situation or prepare you for what may happen.

Decision Making - Has the person you are caring for told you their wishes for end-of-life care?  In the event that you are asked to make or help make decisions it is important for you to talk about issues, including thoughts about potential life-prolonging treatments.  Advance directives are tools that enable people to write down their preferences on a legal form and appoint someone to speak for them if they are no longer able.  A living will, health care power of attorney, financial power of attorney, and a plan for funeral arrangements can help ensure peace of mind for the ill person as well as you, the caregiver.

End-of-Life Care - Hospice is end-of-life care that involves a team-oriented approach to quality medical care, pain and symptom management, and emotional and spiritual support tailored to your family member or friends needs.  Hospice is available to anyone who has a life expectancy of six months or less.  Hospice provides medical equipment and medications related to terminal illness.  Support is given to you as the caregiver, including counselors to talk to, nurses and aides to teach you how to provide hands-on care, volunteers to help lighten your load and non-denominational chaplains to aid with any spiritual issues and/or concerns.
 
Community Resources -- In addition to hospice, there may be other community resources that can help you and your family member or friend.  Your local Area Agency on Aging, the Eldercare Locator and other organizations may offer services to ease your burden.  These may include meals on wheels, caregiver training classes, transportation, friendly visitors and respite care so that you can have a break.  For more information, see the section below entitled What Resources are Available to Help Caregivers.

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Home Modifications

Home modifications include adapting the home to make it easier and safer for the person to be cared for in the home.  Installing grab bars in the shower, a stool riser for the toilet or a wheel chair ramp by the front door are just a few examples of accessible home modifications.  Your local durable medical equipment company (DME) or community organizations such as Centers for Independent Living or Area Agency on Aging may be able to assist you in finding a local organization to help.

You’ve just reviewed a few of the basics you should know as a caregiver, including how to be prepared for new responsibilities and tasks, providing physical and comfort care and some of the services that are available to help caregivers.

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About Living With Side Effects
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Pain medications can cause side effects, including grogginess, nausea or constipation.  You may decide that you would rather live with a little pain than experience the side effects; however many side effects will go away or lessen over time as your body becomes used to the medicine.  It is important to let your health care professionals know if you have any problems taking your medicine so that they can find ways to help manage the side effects.

You may also want to schedule visits from family, friends and health care providers so that you are at your best.  If your pain is worse in the morning, ask people to visit later.  If you feel sleepy 20 minutes after taking pain medication, ask people to visit a few hours later.

How to talk with your loved ones about end-of-life care issues

Remember, it's up to you to take the initiative and express your wishes.  Your family or loved ones are not likely to raise the issue for you.  Talking about end-of-life issues can be difficult for anyone.  One way to approach the subject is to talk about why you have decided to talk about these issues.

For example:

  • Did a particular event cause you to make the decision?
  • Did a case you read about in the newspaper or something that happened to a family member make you think about it?
  • Is the decision part of a broader effort on your part to prepare for the end of life, for instance making your last will and testament for distribution of your property?
  • What is motivating you to take these actions now?

Sometimes sharing your personal concerns and values, spiritual beliefs, or views about what makes life worth living can be as helpful as talking about specific treatments and circumstances.

For example:

  • How important is it to be to be physically independent and to stay in your own home? (Independence can be extremely important to some and is less so to others.)
  • What aspects of your life give it the most meaning?
  • How important would it be for you to be able to recognize people or interact with them?
  • What are your particular concerns about dying? About death?
  • How do your religious or spiritual beliefs affect your attitudes toward dying and death?
  • Would you want your health care agent to take into account the effect of your illness on any other people?
  • Should financial concerns enter into decisions about your treatment?
  • Would you prefer to die at home if possible?

One final point: reassess your decisions over time. These are not simple questions and your views may change. It is important that you review these issues and discuss your choices as your personal health or circumstances change in your life.

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How to Talk with Your Health Care Agent about Your End-of-life Care Wishes

Your health care agent needs to know about the quality of life that is important to you and when and how aggressively you would want medical treatments provided.  Talking to your agent means discussing values and quality-of-life issues as well as treatments and medical situations.  Because situations could occur that you might not anticipate, your agent may need to base a decision on what he or she knows about your values and your views of what makes life worth living.  These are not simple questions, and your views may change.  For this reason, you need to talk to your agent in depth and over time.

The following questions may help you discuss these issues with your health care agent:

  • How do you want to be treated at the end of your life?
  • Are there treatments you particularly want to receive or refuse?
  • What are you afraid might happen if you can't make decisions for yourself?
  • Do you have any particular fears or concerns about the medical treatments that you might receive? Under what circumstances?
  • What makes those things frightening?
  • What do phrases like “no heroic measures” or “dying with dignity” actually mean to you? (People often use these expressions with different meanings.)
  • For example, if you had a massive stroke,
    • Would you want to receive aggressive treatments (such as mechanical ventilation, antibiotics, or tube feeding) for a time, but have them stopped if there were no improvement in your condition?
    • What kind of treatment would you want if you were in a state of prolonged unconsciousness and were not expected to recover?
    • Would you want life support or would you rather receive palliative (comfort) care only?  What are your views about artificial nutrition and hydration (tube feeding)?
    • Do you want to receive these types of treatment no matter what your medical condition?  On a trial basis?  Never?
    • If your heart stopped, under what circumstances would you want doctors to use CPR to try to resuscitate you?

One final point: reassess your decisions over time. These are not simple questions and your views may change.  It is important that you review these issues and discuss your choices as your personal health or circumstances change in your life.

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How to Talk to Your Doctor about Pain
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Pain tends to be under-treated. Make sure your doctor knows you have a pain problem.  Whether you are the person in pain, or a family or friend caregiver, you can help the doctor prescribe the most effective treatment plan.  Write down the answers to the following questions before you talk to the doctor so you can best describe the pain:

  • How long has the pain been a problem?
  • Is it a new pain or has it happened before?
  • Where is it located? Is it in more than one area? If so, which location is most bothersome? Does it move from one place to another?
  • How severe is the pain? Is the pain mild, moderate, severe, or unbearable?
  • Is the pain sharp and stabbing, dull and aching, burning, or does it feel like an electric shock?
  • Is there any numbness, tingling, or new weakness in the pain area?
  • How does the pain interfere with doing normal activities? What activities or conditions make the pain worse?
  • What has been tried to relieve the pain?
  • What medicines are being taken? Are the medicines taken at set times or just you need them?
  • Are you/is the patient allergic or sensitive to any pain medicine?

 Here is an example of what you might say when calling for help for someone you are caring for:

"This is Margaret Smith, John Smith's daughter. My father is a patient of Dr. Troy. This morning he couldn’t get out of bed because his leg hurt so badly near the hip, and it hurts even if he tries to move just a little in bed. He said his pain is sharp. At 6:00 a.m. he took two Percocet TM but didn't feel any better. The next time for his medicine isn't until noon. We tried a heating pad, but it didn't help."

The more you understand about the pain treatment prescribed, the better you will be able to advocate for yourself or the person receiving care, so do not hesitate to ask any questions you may have.  Below is a list of suggested questions to ask your doctor:

  • What are all the options available for treating the pain?
  • What are the benefits of each treatment?
  • What are the risks of each treatment?
  • What are the possible side effects?
  • What are the costs of each treatment?
  • How can treatment help me (or the patient) be more comfortable and active?
  • How long will it take for the treatment to work?
  • What should I do if the treatment does not work?
  • Will insurance pay for treatment?
  • Besides taking medicine, what else can be done to manage the pain?

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Your Pain Treatment Goals
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

It is important to speak up and voice to your doctor and others about your pain.  Some people decide to live with some pain for personal, cultural, spiritual or other reasons.  You have a right to have your wishes respected.  Some people believe that they must suffer through pain to atone for sins, others feel that tolerating pain is a sign of courage and bravery.  Whatever your beliefs are; you have a right to have your wishes honored.

Most health care providers will ask you to rate your current pain level on a scale of 0-10, where 0 is no pain and 10 is the worst pain imaginable.  They may also ask what your pain goal is, again on a scale of 0-10.  Tell your physician if your goal is to get rid of all your pain, or if you can/choose to bear some pain.  Be sure that your physician and family/friend caregivers are very clear about your pain goal.

If your goal is to have as little pain as possible and yet you are still experiencing pain, be sure to let your caregivers know so that they can continue to work to manage your pain.

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How to Manage Your Pain
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

There are many treatment methods that can reduce and manage your pain.  Most pain can improve with treatment that usually consists of a combination of medicine and non-medicine strategies. And the good news is that new advances in pain treatments are happening every year.  It is crucial to talk to your doctor about your pain so he or she can provide the help you need to feel better.  To learn more about how to talk to your doctor about your pain and guidelines to help you manage your pain and other resources, click here.

There are also healthy ways to deal with emotions people often have when they are living with pain. Living with chronic pain can take a toll on your mood, outlook, relationships and self-image.  In addition to seeking medical help, it may be important to seek extra help from a psychiatrist, psychotherapist, social worker or your faith community leader if need.  By getting additional emotional and spiritual support, you will learn new ‘life’ skills to become more effective at managing pain that can enhance your medical treatment.

Pain associated with a terminal illness or at the end of life requires special treatment and can best be treated by a palliative care or hospice provider.  For more information about palliative care or hospice, click here.

Taking action to manage your pain will not only benefit you but also everyone around you.  Your pain, and worrying about you, can take a toll on friends and family members as they, too, can experience worry, depression and exhaustion. Just as you need their support, they need yours so the best thing you can do for them is to take care of yourself and your pain.  Remember your Pain Care Bill of Rights!

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Pain Checklist
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Get the information you need to make informed choices about pain management and treatments.

If you are in pain, tell your doctor and caregivers.  You don’t have to suffer in pain.

  • Discuss your thoughts, concerns and choices with your family and friends.
  • Talk to your doctor about different treatments and therapies.
  • Share your pain goal with your doctor and family/friend caregivers.

Ask for help from others if your pain makes it difficult to do household chores or other tasks.

Discuss your choices often, especially when your medical condition changes.
If you are talking to a physician on behalf of someone in pain, be sure to gather information before you call or speak to the physician, including pain level, pain goal, other symptoms and what medications the care recipient is taking.

Learn about the resources that are available in your community, including your local hospice and palliative care providers. 

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For Families

The Truth about Pain Preparing Your Home Mobility
Equipment

The Truth about Pain
From “Caring Connections” website sponsored by the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization

Many people have incorrect information and concerns about treating their pain.  The following questions and answers provide the truth about pain and pain management.

"If I tell the doctor about my pain he or she will think I'm a complainer."

Response: It is the doctor and nurse's job to work out the best way to control pain. To do this, they rely on you to tell them about your pain. They can't do their job unless you do yours.

"Of course I have aches and pains. I’m old."

Response: Pain is not a normal part of growing old. Pain in older adults, just like pain in any other age group, is a signal that something is wrong. You need to talk about this with a doctor or your family caregivers so the problem can be treated.

"My father is confused. What he says doesn't make sense, so I can't tell whether he's in pain or not."

Response: Even when people are confused, oftentimes they can let you know when they are in pain. It may be helpful to look for changes in mood, activity level, body language, and facial expressions.

"I'm afraid of addiction."

Response: It is very unusual for people who have pain to become addicted to pain medicines. They are taking the medicines for a good reason, to relieve their pain, not to "get high." People who have pain need to be treated, so concerns about addiction, in most cases, should not enter into the doctor's decision to prescribe these medicines.

There is a difference between addiction, which is a psychological craving for medicine, and physical dependence. People who need opioids (narcotics) for a period of time may develop a physical dependence on the medicine, with uncomfortable symptoms, such as sweating, chills, and nausea, if the medicine is stopped suddenly. This is only a temporary situation that can be prevented by slowly reducing the medicine over a few days or a few weeks.

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Preparing Your Home for Caregiving

Many caregivers are supporting and caring for disabled and terminally ill family and friends in their own homes.  Typically, most homes are not designed for caregiving.

Take some time to look closely at each room where your family member or friend may spend time, paying special attention to the bedroom, bathroom, and hallways.  With advice from your family member or friend’s health care team, you may need to make some changes for the comfort and safety of all who live there, keeping these points in mind:

Safety Checklist

  • Are there working smoke alarms and fire extinguishers throughout the home? 
  • Do you periodically check to ensure they are operating properly?
  • Are emergency numbers - Fire, Hospital, 911 - and contact numbers by the phone or an equally convenient location?
  • Are there nightlights for safety in moving around at night?
  • Are there handrails to help move from room to another?
  • Is there a raised toilet seat for easier sitting?
  • Are there grab bars near the toilet and bathtub for safety in standing and lowering?
  • Are there nonskid mats on the bathroom floor and in the bathtub to prevent slipping and falling?
  • If your family member or friend is disabled, you will want to ensure that he or she:
  • Has a clear path through each room, that there are no rugs or raised room dividers to trip over, and no slippery floors. 
  • You can carpet the bathroom with all weather carpeting to help prevent falls.  This can be pulled up in sections, if it is wet.
  • Uses a cane or walker, if needed.
  • Is secure in his or her wheel chair. 

If your family member or friend is weak, a tray that attaches to the wheel chair can prevent falls and gives your family member or friend a place for drinks, magazines, etc.

It is important to ensure that the wheels are securely locked when doing transfers, or if the older person’s chair is on an incline.

If the bed does not have guardrails, you can place the wheel chair or other guards next to the bed, and position your family member or friend in the middle of the bed so that she or he can turn over without fear of falling.

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Mobility

  • Can a wheelchair fit through the doorways in your home?
  • Is a ramp needed on stairs?
  • Is it easy to walk or move from room to room without running into furniture?
  • Is there a nightlight for safety in moving around at night?

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Equipment

  • Does your family member or friend need:
  • A hospital or other special type of bed?
  • Walker and/or cane?
  • Wheelchair?
  • Bedside commode?
  • Lift?
  • Oxygen?

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Learning About Grief

Support a Grieving Caregiver Support Friends or Family Services Provided
Grief and the Holidays The Grief Experience Grief Support
Grief Therapy Bereavement Groups Growth

Supporting a Grieving Caregiver

To support a caregiver who is grieving, ask how you can best help, and listen for what they seem to need.  Express your concern for how the illness is affecting them personally.  Even if you have been a caregiver yourself, don't say you know what they are going through. Empathize, by saying, “I am so very sorry,” but don't say you understand.
When caregiving ends it is normal to feel both grieved and relieved, but caregivers often feel guilty about any feelings of relief they may experience.  Remind them that these feelings are normal and common. Caring for a loved can be exhausting work, but when caregiving ends, time often seems endless. Offer to help grieving caregivers fill their day with meaningful activities. Help them get back into life at a pace that is acceptable to them.  Caregivers and former caregivers often haven’t had enough sleep, nor have they eaten well, so encourage a grieving caregiver to obtain adequate rest and nutrition.

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Supporting Friends or Family Who Are Grieving

When people are grieving, know that all emotions are often heightened.

  • Acknowledge all feelings. Their grief reactions are natural and necessary. Do not pass judgment on how “well” they are or are not coping.
  • Understand and accept cultural and religious perspectives about illness and death that may be different from your own. For example, if a family has decided to remove a loved one from life support, do not second guess this decision, try to be supportive.
  • Be specific in your willingness to help.  Offer assistance with chores such as childcare or meals.  For example, suggest “I’ll bring dinner on Thursday, how many people will be there?”
  • Identify friends who might be willing to help with specific tasks on a regular basis, such as picking up the kids from school or refilling prescriptions.
  • Acknowledge that life won’t “feel the same” and the person may not be “back to normal.”   Help the person to renew interest in past activities and hobbies, when they are ready, or discover new areas of interest. Offer suggestions such as, “Let’s go to the museum on Saturday to see the new exhibit,” but be accepting if your offer is declined.
  • Know and accept that how your friend or family member copes with their loss may be very different from how you would cope, even in the same situation.
  • There is no right way to grieve and mourn.  Be very careful not to impose your expectations on someone else, no matter how much you think it might “help.”

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Services we provide include:

  • Grief Education and Support Groups
  • Men's Mourning - An open group for widowed men
  • Monthly Potluck Lunch and Dinner
  • Individual Grief Counseling
  • Children and Teens
  • Bereavement Consultation

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Grief and the Holidays
 
For many people, the holiday season is a special time of year marked by festive celebrations and gatherings with family and friends. It’s a time to look ahead with excitement to the approaching New Year. For those struggling with the death of a loved one, the holidays are a difficult time full of painful reminders that may magnify their sense of loss.  
 
Holiday songs on the radio catch you in the car. Television commercials reflecting Norman Rockwell images of the season come into your living room. Neighbor’s homes are decked with lights and wreaths. Sounds and sights of the holidays may seem inescapable. Coping with grief at such a time seems discordant with the world around you. Feelings of loss tend to be intensified.

A suggestion for coping with grief during the holidays is to give yourself permission to do what’s comfortable. At a time of year often guided by tradition, find the way that feels right for you to make it through the season. Some people find it helpful to be with family and friends, emphasizing the familiar. Others may wish to avoid old traditions and try something different. Others will find new ways to acknowledge the season.
 
Ever since Mike was a young boy, Thanksgiving was a time to bring family, friends, and neighbors together for a feast.  Card tables were set up in the living room, the picnic table was brought in from outside, every chair seemed to be full.  The year after his death from lung cancer, his wife and kids just couldn’t find the strength to host another Thanksgiving event.  That year, for the first time, they had a Thanksgiving meal at a local inn. It was smaller, more intimate, and has become a new tradition for them.

They gave themselves permission to do what seemed comfortable. While it seemed to go against family tradition, it actually provided the family with a special time to focus on memories of their father and the many Thanksgivings of the past. 
 
Hospice professionals offer some additional suggestions for coping with the holidays:

  • Plan for the approaching holidays. This might be a difficult time for you. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and physically; this is a normal reaction. Be prepared and gentle to yourself. 
  • Recognize that the holidays might not be the same. Expecting everything to seem the same might lead to disappointment. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the change while preserving continuity with the past. 
  • Be careful not to isolate yourself. It’s all right to take time for yourself but don’t cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
  • The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans and share your feelings. Respect other’s choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
  • Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be avoided.

If you, or a loved one, are struggling with grief and loss, consider contacting your community hospice.  Hospices have trained bereavement professionals on staff and may be able to offer some further suggestions or sources of support. 

Information for this article comes from Hospice Foundation of America and National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization. For more information on hospice, contact Caring Connections, a program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization at www.caringinfo.org. or 800/658-8898.

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The Grief Experience

It is essential to allow oneself to feel all the emotions that arise, as painful as they may be, and to treat oneself with patience and kindness.

Grieving people have two choices:  they can avoid the pain and emotions associated with their loss and continue on, hoping to forget.  This is a risky choice, since experience shows that grief, when ignored, continues to cause pain.

The other choice is to recognize grieving and seek healing and growth.  Getting over a loss is slow, hard work.  In order for growth to be possible, it is essential to allow oneself to feel all the emotions that arise, as painful as they may be, and to treat oneself with patience and kindness.

Give into the pain, even over other emotions and activities, because grief is a pain that will get in the way later if it is ignored.  Realize that grief has no timetable; emotions may come and go for weeks, months, or even years.  While a show of strength is admirable, it does not serve the need to express sadness, even when it comes out at unexpected times and places.

  • Talk about your loss
  • Talk the time to seek comfort from friends who will listen.  Let them know you need to talk about your loss.  People will understand, although they may not know how to respond.  If they change the subject, explain that you need to share your memories and express your sadness.
  • Forgive yourself
  • For all of the things you believe you should have said or done.  Also forgive yourself for the emotions such as anger, guilt or embarrassment you may have felt while grieving.
  • Eat well and exercise
  • Grief is exhausting.  To sustain your energy, be sure to maintain a balanced diet.  Exercise is also important in sustaining your energy, find a routine that suits you – clear your mind and refresh your body.
  • Indulge yourself
  • Take naps, read a good book, listen to your favorite music, go to a ball game, rent a movie.  Do something that is fun, distracting and that you personally find comforting.
  • Prepare for holidays and anniversaries
  • Many people feel especially “blue” during these periods, and the anniversary date of the death can be especially painful.  Even if you think you’ve progressed, these dates may bring back some painful emotions.  Make arrangements to be with friends and family members with whom you are comfortable.  Plan activities that give you an opportunity to mark the anniversary.
  • Learning about the grief process will help support a grieving loved one.

Formal and informal supportive services may be helpful to a person who is grieving. These support services can be guides through some of the challenges of grieving as the person adjust to their loss. Grief counseling can be provided by professionals. Consult a hospice in your local community, as all hospice bereavement programs provide grief support to the community, regardless of whether their loved one was cared for by hospice or not. Through learning about the grief process, you can help support a grieving loved one as well.

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Grief Support

Counseling and support services may be helpful to a person with normal grief reactions. They can be a guide through some of the challenges of grieving as they adjust to their loss. Grief counseling can be provided by professionals. Self-help groups are often available and are there for participants to support one another.  Consult a hospice in your local community, as all hospice bereavement programs provide grief support to the community, regardless of whether their loved one was cared for by hospice or not.
Grief Counseling and Support

The goals of grief counseling include:

  • Understand the natural process of grief
  • Accept and adjust to the reality of the death
  • Receive affirmation for the “normalcy” of feelings
  • Provide information about the grief process and common grief responses
  • Understand common obstacles and how to deal with them
  • Help the bereaved identify and utilize effective coping strategies 

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Grief Therapy

Grief therapy is sometimes indicated when individuals have more complicated grief reactions. The goal of grief therapy is to identify and resolve the conflicts of separation that interfere with the ability to mourn the loss.  It is indicated when any of the previously described complicated grief symptoms are evident.
Complications in grief may occur if grief from previous losses resurfaces.  Grief therapy addresses what is interfering with the grief process, identifies unfinished business with the deceased and other losses that result from the death.

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Bereavement Groups

Bereavement groups can help you recognize your feelings and put them in perspective.  They can also help alleviate the feeling that you are alone.  The experience of sharing with others who are in a similar situation can be comforting and reassuring.  Sometimes, new friendships grow through these groups – even a whole new social network that you did not have before.

There are specialized groups for widowed persons, for parents who have lost a child, for victims of drunk drivers, etc.  There are also groups that do not specialize.  Check with your local hospice or other bereavement support groups for more information.

If you find that you are in great distress or in long-term depression, individual or group therapy from a counselor who specializes in grief may be advisable.  You can ask your doctor for a referral.

Many people discover that there is hope after death.  Death takes away, but grief can give back.  It is possible to recover from grief with new strengths and a new direction.  By acting on our grief, we may eventually find peace and purpose.

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Growth

Grief is a chance for personal growth.  For many people, it may eventually lead to renewed energy to invest in new activities and new relationships.  After the loss, they find new emotional resources that had not been apparent before.
Some people seek meaning in their loss and get involved in causes or projects that help others.  The suggestions below are designed to help friends, family and co-workers who are grieving.

•  Supporting Friends Or Family Who Are Grieving 
•  Supporting a Grieving Caregiver  
•  Tips for Helping Grieving Employees

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Getting Help

How is Hospice paid for? Referrals - How does it work? Helpful Hospice Tips

How is hospice care paid for?

Hospice care is available to anyone, regardless of insurance or financial resources. No one who needs our services is turned away because they cannot afford to pay for care.

Generous community support helps Hospice and Palliative Care of Northern Colorado, our community’s only not-for-profit hospice organization, provide quality care to all in need of hospice and bereavement services.

For most Hospice patients, the cost of hospice care is fully covered by the Medicare Hospice Benefit (under Medicare Part A, or hospital insurance). The Medicare Hospice Benefit provides a daily allowance to the hospice organization. In turn, the hospice organization pays for all medical services, medications, durable medical equipment, supplies and treatments related to managing your serious illness and approved as part of your individual plan of care. The hospice plan of care focuses on comfort, rather than curative, measures.

Like Medicare, Medicaid and most private insurance companies also provide coverage for hospice care and services. Private insurance benefits, deductibles and co-insurance requirements may vary by plan and are therefore reviewed and communicated on an individual basis.

HPCNC does not turn away any eligible patient, regardless of ability to pay. For those not covered by private insurance, Medicare or Medicaid; a sliding fee scale is used. If a patient is unable to pay the sliding fee, care will be provided free of charge.

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Referrals: How does it work?

Anyone may make a referral to Hospice and Palliative Care of Northern Colorado and the earlier the referral the more benefit to patients and their families. Final approval for our hospice program must come from the patients primary care physician.

A hospice admissions nurse schedules a visit to explain the program and services and assesses the needs of each patient and his or her own unique situation. Together the patient and family make the choice to begin hospice care.

Admission is available to patients regardless of race, religion, national origin, sexual orientation, handicap, age, diagnosis or ability to pay.

Insurance coverage is available through Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance plans for services related to the admitting diagnosis.

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Helpful Hospice Tips

Practical tips you can use to help those facing serious illness

When someone we know faces a serious illness, most of us find it hard to know what to do.  Feeling helpless and uncertain, we say, "If you need anything just call," but we know that's not really enough. Here is a collection of truly useful ideas you can use to show your concern and support for people who are close to you.

  • Don't avoid me.  Be the friend, the loved one you've always been.
  • Touch me.  A simple squeeze of the hand tells me you still care.
  • Call and tell me you're bringing over my favorite dish.  Bring food in disposable containers so I won't worry about returning them.
  • Watch my children while I take a little time to be alone with my loved one. My children may also need a vacation from my illness.
  • Cry with me when I cry and laugh with me when I laugh.  Don't be afraid to share these emotions with me.  Pain isolates.  Help me reconnect with others.
  • Take me out for a pleasure trip, but I know my limitations.
  • Call for my shopping list, and make a special delivery to my home.
  • Before you visit, call to let me know, but don't be afraid to visit.  I told you I can get lonely.
  • Help me celebrate holidays (and life) by decorating my hospital room or home, or by bringing me flowers or other natural treasures.
  • Help my family.  Invite them out.  Take them places.  I am sick, but they may be suffering also.  Offer to come and stay with me to give my loved ones a break.
  • Be creative.  Bring me a book of thoughts, taped music, a poster for my wall, cookies to share with my family and friends.
  • Let's talk about it.  Maybe I need to talk about my illness.  Find out by asking, "Do you feel like talking about it?"
  • Don't always feel we have to talk.  Sitting quietly together is fine.  Your presence confirms that I'm still important and alive.
  • Can you take me and/or my children somewhere?  I may need transportation to a treatment, to the store, or to my physician.
  • Help me feel good about myself by looking past my appearance.
  • Please include me in decision making.  I've been robbed of so may things. Don't deny me a chance to make decisions in my family and in my life.
  • Talk to me about the future.  Tomorrow, next week, next year.  Hope is so important to me.
  • Bring a positive attitude.  It's catching.  Help me respect reality.
  • What's in the news?  Magazines, photos, newspapers, and verbal reports keep me from feeling the world is passing me by.
  • Could you help me with some cleaning?  During my illness my family and I still face dirty clothes, dirty dishes, and a dirty house.
  • Water my flowers.
  • Just send a card to let me know you care.
  • Pray for me and share your faith with me.
  • Tell me how you'd like to help me, and when I agree, please do so.
  • Tell me about support groups so I can share with others.

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